How are we going to get out of this? We have an army of undead all around and god knows where we are! I know that there is little to no chance of us surviving, even if we make it through this challenge, there will just be another waiting for us. And while the enemy grows with each fallen survivor our numbers only grow smaller, and our resources dwindle more and more. What’s the point in fighting, if there’s no hope of victory?

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Brooke's Story - Halloween 2016 Special


My name is Brooke Rowe, and this is my story.

They say you show different faces to different people. Your family, your friends, your lover. You act differently because you want them to appear differently, you want them to see you in a certain way. But does that mean you are a different person? Is the person my family knows a different person my friends know? And if that’s the case then which one is the real me?

I know the answer of course, they all are, and they all are not. I can break each of these people down into traits, responses, or views I do have, and those I am creating just to have an effect on those around me. So if I change myself to have an effect on others does that mean I am only the real me when I am alone? Of course not, because even when I am alone I am trying to convince myself that I am a better person than I really am.

          When I joined the army I formed a new face, new reactions to new stimuli. A man made a joke I was offended by, I laughed and joked back. A man told me to do something I didn’t want to do, I nodded and did what he asked. I heard a bang, I saw an enemy, I responded with force, and anger.

          I came home, but after you’ve worn a face for months it begins to change you. And faces you set down can’t be picked up again so easily. But the stimuli are still there, as are the responses. I’m meant to be different here, I’m meant to pretend I feel safe, but I don’t, I feel threatened. So I lash out with force, and anger.

          I try and pick up new faces, ones that will fix the changes underneath. But there are traits you pretend to have, and those that become a part of you. Your true face. So maybe that is the only way to find your true face. To experience the unknown, to be faced with new challenges and see how your instincts react. To meet new people, and see how they affect you.

          I say find your true self, but as I said before you already know which traits are real and which aren’t. But maybe that’s good, to be able to suppress the parts of yourself you don’t like, and let the ones you do flourish. Or maybe instead of finding our true selves we are finding a way to admit our true selves. And a way to fix the parts that are broken.

          I’m in a different place now, a different world. And I’m surrounded by different people, people who rely on me. And none of the faces I have are ready for this, or right for this. And slowly I’ve realised that the people I’m with are seeing my true face, or maybe I’m letting them see it. I don’t care, what matters is that for the first time in a long time, even though everything is falling apart and dying that I feel myself. As sick as that is. As ashamed as I am. But these people, they need me. The real me. And I need them. And for as long as I can I will protect them. Even if it kills me. And maybe one day, by staying with them, I will be able to see the face they see, and it will be what I’ve always wanted it to be. Me.

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